Thursday, September 16, 2010

The Panic Attack

Saturday morning I woke up with my stomach in knots!!   I guess it was the equivalent of buyer's remorse for adoption decisions.  I just knew that I couldn't breathe and was thinking, "WHAT HAVE I DONE?"  I way lying on my bed bawling like a baby, hyperventilating.  Seriously, it wasn't pretty.  Me and all my "faith talk" were having a serious moment of utter panic.  As I was bawling and looking around for a paper bag to breathe in, my sweet son, Cooper, came into my room and laid on the bed beside me.  In a nutshell, he said, "Mom, this is fear and it's not from God.  We know this is the right thing to do and it's gonna be ok."  He stayed in the room with me for almost an hour and just talked it through with me.

Later that day Gatlin got home and was asking me what was wrong - since my eyes were all puffy and it was obvious that I'd been crying.  She and I talked it through and she was such a huge encouragement to me.  Two things I remember specifically that she said:  "Mom, if God wants us to do this then He will provide" and "Mom, I will become a better person because of this."  I thought that was precious.  

I spent the rest of the day listening to a sermon about adoption that is one of the most powerful sermons I have ever heard.  I just played it over and over and over - all day.  (If you want to hear it, comment with your email address and I'll email it to you - it's amazing!)

When I went to bed my stomach was still in knots but I wasn't quite as panicked.


  1. Wendi, first of all LOVE the blog name! Only YOU could be oh so creative. Second, so happy for you, Brian and the children. It doesn't surprise me at all. I will certainly be praying for you all as you make this adjustment. I don't know if you are familiar with Lysa Terkeurst, but she is an author and was the founder of Proverbs 31 Women. Google her and her testimony. She's been on OPRAH! b/c she and her husband adopted 2 or 3 children from Africa. I don't recall exactly where but her story is amazing. Blessings sweet friend!

  2. I'd love to hear the sermon, Wendi!!

  3. Wendi,

    For some reason when I was on your blog before I only read the blog "Now We Wait". I came back to see if you had written anything new and I see what I missed my first time here, and I had to comment on this one. When Aaron my nephew moved in with us the same thing happened to me on the very day he was to move in. I recognized that it was the enemy and I of course would continue to move forward in the Lord knowing that He would sustain us. Cooper was right, and that's the very thing the Lord said to me. I submitted to the Lord, resisted the Devil and he fled! Now we look back with great joy at all the work that God did and is still doing BECAUSE Aaron moved in with us!!!! YAY GOD!!!!!!! I'm looking forward to hearing what God does in EACH of you through the expansion of your family!!!!!!! Way to go Cooper and Gatlin, God gave you such insight!!! Wendi you have a precious gift from God in your family as they do with you! Love ya!

  4. Please email me the adoption sermon when you get a chance! We are signing paper to become licensed foster parents (in hopes of adopting) next week!

  5. Hi Wendi!

    You don't know us, but we were made aware of your blog by the sweet Mary Beth Chapman on Facebook. I have been reading ALL of your posts over the past 24 hrs and bawling my eyes out, laughing out loud, and beig inspired tremendously by your journey and your honest portrayal of it all! My husband and I have been praying for years about when we should begin our adoption journey, and we have been significantly nudged that the time to get moving has come. We are specifically interested in adopting from Either Ethiopia, Rwanda, or Uganda, so your Ethiopia experience has been very useful to me! My husband will be reading all these posts tonight also. We would love to talk with you about what agency you used... and also have the link for this sermon you are talking about! Thanks, and God bless you as you WAIT patiently on the Lord right now!

    Jen Shultz

    Oxford, PA

  6. I have been reading your posts over the past two days as my husband and I are beginning the adoption process as well. We have had a heart for East Africa for about 10 years because of several missions trips we have taken there. We also lived in Kenya for 6 months and during that time the Lord solidified our desire to adopt. Since Kenya is not open to American adoption we are going through Ethiopia. Thank you for sharing your story! Praying you will have your 3 new babies in your home soon!
    I am definitely interested in the sermon you mentioned
    Thank you!