Saturday morning I woke up with my stomach in knots!! I guess it was the equivalent of buyer's remorse for adoption decisions. I just knew that I couldn't breathe and was thinking, "WHAT HAVE I DONE?" I way lying on my bed bawling like a baby, hyperventilating. Seriously, it wasn't pretty. Me and all my "faith talk" were having a serious moment of utter panic. As I was bawling and looking around for a paper bag to breathe in, my sweet son, Cooper, came into my room and laid on the bed beside me. In a nutshell, he said, "Mom, this is fear and it's not from God. We know this is the right thing to do and it's gonna be ok." He stayed in the room with me for almost an hour and just talked it through with me.
Later that day Gatlin got home and was asking me what was wrong - since my eyes were all puffy and it was obvious that I'd been crying. She and I talked it through and she was such a huge encouragement to me. Two things I remember specifically that she said: "Mom, if God wants us to do this then He will provide" and "Mom, I will become a better person because of this." I thought that was precious.
I spent the rest of the day listening to a sermon about adoption that is one of the most powerful sermons I have ever heard. I just played it over and over and over - all day. (If you want to hear it, comment with your email address and I'll email it to you - it's amazing!)
When I went to bed my stomach was still in knots but I wasn't quite as panicked.