So yesterday I had a 2:00 meeting about 20 miles from my house. I got out of that meeting around 3:00 and decided to make a quick trip into my favorite grocery store because it was just down the street, and the snow that was headed our way hadn't started falling yet. I was happily shopping by 3:10. At 3:30, as I was leaving the store, it started snowing, and it was coming down pretty good. I pulled out of the parking lot and headed home only to stop less than 1/4 mile down the road. And I sat. And sat. And then sat some more. We were not moving. The road was a one lane road all the way home so I decided to turn around and go the highway route, thinking that my chances were better with that. I turned around and got back to where I started and then I sat. And I sat. And I sat some more. Nope, not moving again.
I finally made it about 1/8 of a mile and pulled into the McDonald's to grab something to eat cause I hadn't eaten since 11:00 and knew, by the looks of things, it was gonna be a while before I got home. I called Brian and told him to expect me in two hours. At this point, you could still see the pavement and I had no idea that such a mess was awaiting me. I kept thinking, "It's just snow, people, GO!"
I was in Mickey D's all of 3 minutes and headed back out into the "blizzard" (by Tennessee standards). Then a crazy driver tried to zip around a car in the lane next to me and almost hit the car in front of me. This did not make me happy. Since I knew a little bit of a back way around that area (which is easily backed up on a good day), I turned left to get out of the bottleneck. As I passed a hotel on my right I decided to stop in and see if they had any rooms available just in case things got totally crazy - and honestly, I really had to use the bathroom, since I downed my Dr. Pepper 30 minutes prior. (: Seriously, it took over 30 minutes to get a few blocks. The hotel was sold out.
I proceeded home, but that path meant going up a hill that people were quite unhappily sliding down. I knew I wouldn't have a problem getting up the hill (I have 4-wheel drive), but I was so afraid one of the sliders was going to hit me. I called Brian about 10 times during this process and was SO frustrated. I feel 100% comfortable driving in the snow (I actually did drive through a blizzard in New Mexico last year), but some of these other drivers were absolutely nuts!! Some of them were frozen in fear. Some of them were making terrible choices and wreaking havoc on other innocent souls. Some were sliding all around and just had no idea what to do. I just kept thinking, if we would all calm down and just take it nice and easy, we'd all make it home for dinner. I was so frustrated that people were making it more difficult than it needed to be.
So, that brings me to adoption. Why, you ask? Because that's all I think about these days. LOL But really, the Lord allowed me to draw a parallel for my life right now. You see, I was starting to fear yesterday morning (before the snow). I've told ya'll that we tried to adopt twice before and both of those fell through. I've been pretty good this time around just giving it to God and holding it loosely. BUT, once the kiddos knew about us, I just couldn't imagine this falling through -- I couldn't imagine what that would do to them. So when we found out that we had to have this extra document, the fear started to creep in. What if we couldn't get it? What if we did lose the kids at this point? Yesterday morning in the shower, the tears were flowing as I was crying out to God, begging Him not to let anything happen - not to let us lose these kids. And I was asking God to help me not be fearful. I told Him that I trusted Him, but was asking Him to help me shake the fear that was creeping in.
I got out of the shower, and no sooner had I started drying off than I heard my email beep. I walked over to my computer and seriously, right that second there was an email from our agency director saying that the needed document was being turned in to the Embassy the next morning (this morning). WHAT!! Oh my word, ya'll. That was crazy. I just started laughing cause the timing was just absolutely, 100%, GOD! What a nice thing for Him to do for me. Crazy sweet.
Back to the snow. So, I made it up the hill and headed toward the highway. It took me almost THREE HOURS to get to the freeway. I don't even think it was one mile. Oh my gosh. Three hours to go ONE mile. I got to the freeway and headed home. It took a little over an hour to drive the rest of the way - about 20 miles. All along the way, there were vehicles on the side of the road. Two ambulances passed me heading to accidents. I felt SO badly for the people who were having such trouble, all caused by circumstances outside of their control.
And there's the word that makes it so hard, at least for someone like me. I'd like to be in control. I wanted to go and drive these people home. Go give 'em a pep talk and say, "You can do it, just keep going". I also wanted to fly right over to Ethiopia and get that document taken care of. LOL But the reality is, we were stuck...just like I was in the snow. The Lord ended up giving me four hours in the car to remember that He loves the kids more than I do. He has it figured out. He is allowing what He is allowing for a reason, and His ways are just much too high for me to understand. BUT I CAN TRUST HIM. He was gonna get me home in the messy snow, and he is gonna get my kiddos home in this messy journy called adoption. (And by messy, I mean, a crazy emotional roller coaster).
So I finally got home a little after 7:30 and was welcomed by a great big hug and kiss from Gatlin. Sweetness!! Brian and the kids ate dinner and we hung out and watched American Idol and then went to bed with a peace knowing that God was going to work everything out for His good and His glory, all in HIS perfect timing.
And at 6:12a.m. my phone started buzzing cause my friend, Nick, couldn't contain his excitement....they had gotten an email saying that they were cleared to bring their daughter home and he was hoping that we had gotten the same email. I quickly got to my email and there it was...the subject read, "Go get those kids!!" Thank you, Jesus!!
Psalm 146:6-9...He is the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them-- the Lord, who remains faithful forever. He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets prisoners free, the Lord gives sight to the blind, the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down, the Lord loves the righteous. The Lord watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow...
Thank You, God!!
PS. I now want to go over there and get all my friend's documents taken care of so they can bring their kids home. I feel so badly that we got ours but they didn't get theirs. Why do some of us make it home, but others get stuck in the snow? Sigh. I guess I have to let God be in control of their lives, too. LOL