Today was Kaleb and Kali's well-check doctor appointment (Bennet's is tomorrow). As I was holding their hands walking into Mercy Clinic, I was overcome with thoughts of walking that path a year ago and how completely overwhelmed I was. I broke out in tears numerous times during the almost four hour appointment...the first time being the moment I signed their names onto the sign-in sheet. The women behind the counter didn't know what to think of me. I didn't know what to think of me. It wasn't really a me that I recognized. I remember being so frustrated with myself because I couldn't snap out of it. I wanted to put mind over matter and buck up and get a grip and deal with my life and pull myself together and all those things...but I wasn't able to do it that day...so I cried. And cried. And then cried a little bit more. I was embarrassed, but the water works wouldn't stop. It wasn't a bawling cry, just that constant lump in the throat, tears welled-up in the eyes, sneak a kleenex to your cheek, cry...you want to lie down and bawl your eyes out, but you can't. The kids never knew how much I was struggling that day.
Today, I was able to laugh at that memory.
While we were waiting to see the doctor, I told Kaleb and Kali all about me sitting there last year trying not to plop on the floor in fetal position, suck my thumb and wail. And then I told them that they don't scare me anymore...and we all three laughed and laughed and laughed. So much better than crying!!
They had great check-ups and are perfectly healthy. They are growing like weeds and doing great in every area; physically, mentally, spiritually. They are AMAZING kids. The doctor got to see them dance (oh my!) and as I told her our story (she's a new doctor for us), her response was, "God knew exactly what family to put these kids with". Indeed He did.
Our family is hysterical....so many funny things happen in this house on a daily basis...we laugh ALL the time around here. We fight sometimes, too. Thankfully, this past year has been one of MUCH laughing and very little fighting. God has blessed us beyond what we deserve, that is for sure.
People ask us if this adoption journey has been hard and Brian always answers, "It's not hard, it's just more". That's a good answer. Life is hard sometimes and when you add more people, there's potential to have more hard...BUT, life is really great, too, and we added a lot of great...it has way outweighed the hard. Thank You, Lord!!
Last night Gatlin took her three younger siblings out for a walk around the neighborhood...they ended up walking for over an hour and it became dark and a little chilly. I realized Gatlin didn't have her phone with her, so I hopped in the car to go find them and bring them home. They were almost home, but when they saw me they jumped in the car, glad to see me and thankful for the ride. Kali said, "I KNEW you would come and find us, Mom!" That made my heart so happy!!
In Psalm 30:11, the Psalmist writes, "You have turned my mourning into dancing, you have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy". I'm so very grateful that the Lord is faithful to us. He has been faithful to Bennet, Kaleb and Kali and he has been faithful to Brian, Wendi, Cooper and Gatlin...and this past year He has shown this group of Greens His beautiful, unfailing, extravagant love in way too many ways to count.